Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
