Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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