508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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