oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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