did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
