? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
