I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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