thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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