I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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