Non-Jews are for practice
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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