i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
