just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
