I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
