I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
