Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
