its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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