Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
