today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
