Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she peed on how many people?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
