We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
