I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
