there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
