i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
