didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
