i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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