i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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