Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
