they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
