I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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