he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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