im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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