so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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