while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
