According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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