sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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