those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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