I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And then he peed in my hair
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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