Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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