Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Randomize
