How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
