You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
