Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
