Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize