Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
