Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
did you just send me my own nude
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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