Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
