Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
