i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
