She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
