Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
