I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Houston, we have a blender
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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