it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
