Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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