Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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