So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
