She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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