You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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