no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
