Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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