i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
