Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
