I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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