So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish you could order shots online.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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