I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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