Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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