We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
