She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
