Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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