Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Welp...herpes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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