I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
