Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
